DUI - TEXAS STYLE
Only a person in Texas could think of this.
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in
Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the
bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the
officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he
tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his
car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the
bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a
fine, dry summer night–, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of
times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other
patrons’ vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled
out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started
up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man
over and administered a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man
had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to
the police station.
This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’
‘I doubt it,’ said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the
designated decoy.’
Backup your Blog NOW!!
Tags: Bloggled Humor
January 1st, 2009 at 3:42 pm
wow, what is wrong with the guy. designated decoy? never heard that one before.
nice
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Ahnee Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
not really replying to Joshua, just wanted to get this post in up at the top.
after reading the JOKE ^^ up there, i scrolled down expecting to maybe find another good joke or 2 in the comments… instead (as is usually the case on the net) i found a argument.
for everyone who’s posted stuff along the lines of “omg he should be arrested!!!”, your all idiots.. and for the people that actually post back defending the D.D in the joke, dont feed the troll’s.
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Texan Reply:
December 29th, 2009 at 1:12 am
@Ahnee,
Ahnee is right, this is a joke that has been going around for quite a while. In Texas if a cop saw some on stumbling to his car that was obviously drunk, they would intercept him before he had a chance to drive off, if possible before he got to his car, give him the breathalyzer test, and if it came up positive for over the legal limit, charge him with Public Intoxication. They can even get you inside the bars now for a PI now. No cop would wait for the DWI, not with a full parking lot. If the test came up negative they would probably just give the person a warning and tell him to vacate the area. No need to argue over points of law about a fictional joke.
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January 1st, 2009 at 3:43 pm
That is hilariously funny. I bet that cop felt like a schmuck.
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January 1st, 2009 at 4:43 pm
a cool irony to the story would be that one of the drunks that got away from the bar because of this designated decoy, runs over someone from the DD’s family. now THAT would be hilarious!
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buttonresponse Reply:
January 1st, 2009 at 5:44 pm
@button,
not really.
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I agree Reply:
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 am
@buttonresponse, No, your right that would not be funny what would be funny is if he got run over by a drunk driver the next day.
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January 1st, 2009 at 6:15 pm
If this really happened… the cop would find something else to pin on him. Probrably lots of things. Irritating cops is a bad move.
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eric Reply:
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:13 pm
@Erra, to the internet educated, yes, the cop could charge him with “anything” because we all know all cops are corrupt people beaters.
In real life, the officer would have no recourse but to test the man and then release him. He would be derilict in duty otherwise. If the person were a stand up citizen with no warrants the officer would not (and could not) make up something to charge him with because he was “annoyed”. You can’t get arrested for being a “decoy”.
Now if a drunk killed someone on the way home that night and it was later found out that the drunk was in cahoots with the “decoy” in someway and there was evidence to the fact then Mr. decoy could be charged with manslaugher.
Join real life and stop learning internet realities.
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Andy Reply:
January 5th, 2009 at 2:12 am
@eric,
I pulled this on a local cop in Quartzsite AZ a few years back, he would sit outside the bar nightly and target our patrons while ignoring two other bars in town. When he pulled me over and discovered I was not drunk he threatened to haul me in for interfering with a law officer in the performance of his duties. Even showed me the code.
My reply was simply if your duties include entrapment press your charge and we will see who wins in court. Never saw his car out there again and it was 2 months before local PD did another bar check at closing time.
My dad is an ex cop, so don’t get me wrong this was done because what the officer was doing was illegal and needed to be stopped.
Andy Zeus Anderson
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eric Reply:
January 5th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@Andy,
“Target” the patrons eh? Yea ok, thats like saying a cop staked out at a school yard to catch drug dealers selling to kids would be a bad thing. He wasn’t “targeting” patrions, he was targeting drunk drivers, most likley because he had some inkling that a number of them came out of that particular bar..
That isn’t illegal bro. Your expectation of privacy doesn’t extend from the bar to your car. Look that up in your distorted little legal booklet you seem to be consulting. (internet)
Look, the cop wouldn’t be pulling over people who weren’t a danger to others.
Where does your right to some kind of perverted privacy trump mine to stay alive?
The cops methods (waiting until you start the car and drive) are not my preferred methid, but if he stops ONE drunk idiot from killing someones mother, father, sisiter or brother than I say go for it.
I am so very tired of this uniquely ASmerican view point that it is OK to break the law if the cops dont see you do it and if they do, it had better have been an accident that they saw you in the first place.
Your right to get drunk stops when you turn that key.
Like I said, if a drunk had gone and killed someone the night you played your little game then I would be first in line asking the judge to put you in prison for 100 years.
See, I know someone who died because some drunk MF’er decided he was OK to drive, guess what? He’s out on the street now and she’s still dead.
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jo schmo Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
stop living in the past she died that sucks sorry for her family shut up.. just cause you’re morals come to play on what you’d do doesn’t mean there aren’t corrupt cops around.. yeah the internet prey’s on them .. yeah the public things they are everywhere and yes.. there are SOME good cops out there..
i think it’s good he’s stopping someone who he see’s to be so fucked up he can’t drive.. good for him for taking that serious.. however i’m sure that he could find something wrong with the person .. the car.. or just say that the person however not drunk was still in no way shape or form able to drive and could find a reason to hold him for atleast the night ..
just to think that he wouldn’t .. just goes to show you that you don’t know many people. stuffing your face in books all day will help .. great.. congrats.. you can spell .. however it doesn’t give you experience.. truth is.. cops are people too.. regular fuck ups like the rest of us.. who have the same feelings emotions blah blah blah as any other person out there.. some good .. some bad.. some in between ..
now.. get over it.. it was a good joke.. and we’re all having fun.. cry in a corner and let people laugh.. thanks btw comment all you like i won’t be checking this for your worthless responce
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Eric Reply:
June 7th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
@jo schmo,
You are seriously ignorant. Corruption isn’t the issue here. Do you even know what corruption means? based on your comment, you do not.
I am not sure where the “dig” at my education is relevant or indicative of my life or the people I mnow, that part of your comment was quite retarted.
You know nothing about the law and you are probably one of these guys who gets drunk and thinks it’s ok to drive home. it’s not. It is also not illegal to do what this “cop” did. Live with it, don’t drink and drive, you’ll have no issues, drink and drive and you’ll go to jail, where you’d belong.
Be glad I am not in charge because I have every drunk driver in jail for life.
It’s also very apparent that you “won’t be checking this for your worthless responce” because you know your opinion is worth as much as spit in a rainstorm.
Richard Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 3:00 am
@Andy, I find your actions completely objectionable on this matter. Irrespective of the cop’s professionalism, he’s targetting drunk drivers, and drunk drinking kills thousands of people in the US every year. That’s all I have to say.
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tom Reply:
December 31st, 2009 at 10:01 am
@Richard,
Drunk drinking kills thousand of people?? I suppose that would apply to alcohol poisoning, but should we really give a rats’ about someone killing themselves with their overindulgence?
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Richard Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 9:27 pm
@tom, the point is that a large proportion of the thousands that are killed by drunk driving are innocent people who are hit by drunk driver. Not a year goes by when you don’t hear about families being completely wiped out in such circumstances. To put it in context, drunk driving takes more lives every year in the US than the attack on the world trade centre did, and yet people still seem to have problems with police enforcing the law in this area. It’s time that people who drink and drive took more responsiblity for their actions.
Andy Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
@Andy, OK folks, it seems quite a few missed a few things along the way in part because I limited some details. This office was related to the owners of one of the other two bars in town and worked events as a bouncer while off duty at the other. The method of targeting was in fact a violation of the law and not one of the charges he filed on patrons stuck in court out of 4 arrest made. The actions were costing business as our patrons were in fact being harassed and it was profit motivated.
Now as I stated I am the son of a retired law enforcement officer, I also lost a half sister and nephew to a drunk driver. ON my watch our bar tenders followed the laws and did not serve those who were excessively inebriated and we would offer transportation and even call on intoxicated individuals who would leave DUI after being turned down by our staff.
Bar camping, where the officer sits directly in front of the establishment reduces the business of that bar or nightclub. Entrapment laws are meant to protect both innocent people and business owners from mistreatment. In my case I did not weave, did not drive below speed limit or above, or in any manner once leaving the lot provide probable cause to stop me. The officer was in the wrong from word go.
Most respondents are talking about stopping drunks. Look at it this way, if the officer takes these action even a drunk driver will get the charges thrown out, then be compensated for the wrongful arrest, which encourages repeating the actions. I am all for taking drunk drivers off the streets but it has to be in the correct and effective manner. In this manner not only was the business being hurt and targeted for profits, but in 4 instances the wrongful arrest resulted in a cost to taxpayers of 10,000 to 50,000 to settle lawsuits because legal procedure was not followed. The DUI drivers were rewarded and set free because of rights violations.
Even with the school yard senario if the cop sits with no warrant to watch a dealer waiting for the crime the charge will likely be dropped or thrown out. Should the officer witness the same thing by chance of passing or secure a warrant with probable cause it’s legal, if not it’s illegal and the officer becomes the criminal while the criminal goes free.
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Jim Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 4:30 am
@eric,
What real world are you living in, I have seen cops write tickets, and in fact charge people with felonies because they were pissed off. Go to Roanoke Rapids NC drive around at 9:00 at night. Do not break any laws wait till you get pulled, and you will then explain to the nice officer yo meet that you have rights, and see what happens. Dumb ass. Some people live in a pipe vacuum I guess. Need some more examples? Try Emporia VA, Norfolk Va. Crossville Tenn.
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January 1st, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I first heard that joke about 20 years ago… Still, the old jokes are usually the best.
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bramey Reply:
January 1st, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@RecycleBill,
I know, the old ones are still good.
thanks for visiting.
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January 2nd, 2009 at 2:02 am
I’m with Recycle Bill, I too first heard of this happening…
here in Australia at my local pub some 20 odd years ago.
The classic’s never die, they just get handed down, generation after generation!
History repeats itself!
In one way or another.
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January 2nd, 2009 at 8:09 am
really nice and funny
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January 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I laughed.. Nice joke!
I haven’t heard it before, either! :-O
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January 3rd, 2009 at 4:31 am
I’m with Recycle Bill + Peter Scott, I too first heard of this happening in England at my local pub some 20 odd years ago.
The classic’s never die, they just get handed down, generation after generation!
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January 3rd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I read this in a joke book…
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January 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Good one…
Hilarious!
Thanks,
Sam England
http://www.whoissamengland.com
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January 4th, 2009 at 7:30 am
The funniest is the first few comments who actually thought this was a real story. Must be from Texas.
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January 4th, 2009 at 10:13 am
it is funny
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January 4th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
finally, a new joke.
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January 5th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
[...] Too funny! This entry was posted on Monday, January 5th, 2009 and is filed under Great People, My 2¢. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. « The best things in life are free [...]
January 5th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
That was pretty funny! It would suck is if someone got hurt though.
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
This is a great anecdote…only its not definately from texas. I’ve heard it many times over the years…from all over the place….still makes me laugh my ass off
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
How is drunk driving funny? I don’t know, I don’t get it…
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January 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
[...] I would have never thought of this… [...]
January 8th, 2009 at 1:27 am
Just a thought: is it legal in Texas to be intoxicated and put your keys in the ignition? Here in Ohio it isn’t. I understand the “decoy” wasn’t really drunk, but it kind of pisses me off that the officer waited til an assumed drunk man was operating a vehicle was out on the road before acting. The story is funny but only because we’re never told anyone got hurt. I’m all about people having a good time, and drinking is fine by me too, but this decoy may have enabled a potentially fatal situation, and if the cop would have just approached the guy in the first place the whole thing could’ve been avoided and REAL intoxicated drivers could have been stopped from getting in their cars. I’m sure there is a frustrating truth here with how logic works and the law is written with loopholes, but this is just my humble opinion.
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DeviantSaint Reply:
January 10th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@alyx, Yeah, here in oregon you can’t even have the keys in the ignition either. I actually know some people who were outside a party with the radio in their car on, NAPPING, who got a DUI slapped on them. The Judge threw it out because they were sleeping and had several others there who said they had already planned to sleep until morning.
Not that it matters anyway, because all those first commenters can’t take a freakin joke. And it’s not a joke about drunk driving. It’s a joke about messing with cops. It’s not like that one guy was the only cop in the world. Get over yourselfs.
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DeviantSaint Reply:
January 10th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
@DeviantSaint, And yourselves.
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Ewan Marshall Reply:
April 26th, 2009 at 8:59 am
@alyx, Is it illegal to be driving while drunk on private property? I mean if you owned an estate with acres of fields and you crash into your lovely manor, it’s your fault. I think you’ll find the bar car park is classed as private property. The cop probably wasn’t allowed to do anything until it hit the road.
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firstmate Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 11:22 am
@Ewan Marshall,
In the UK, I believe, private property may not be a defence. A private car park in a bar or pub allows and assumes public access. You get done if you are ‘in control’ of a motor vehicle while over the limit. In control can mean possession of the keys while in the vehicle.
I once took the keys from a very drunk driver at chucking out time and threw them onto the rear window parcel shelf as he sat in the driver’s seat. He didn’t find them that night.
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January 8th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
It’s a joke, people. Not meant to be taken seriously. Not meant to be spun into a tale of what really happens in Texas. Not meant as a suggestion for ways to get away with drunk driving.
JUST A JOKE.
And damned funny at that! Thanks for the laugh!
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January 9th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Stupid stupid stupid. Joke or no, google how many innocents are killed every year becasue of idiots who think they can drive drunk.
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Me Too Reply:
January 10th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
@Me, What about all the innocent people killed every year because of idiots that simply think they can drive?
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January 9th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I’m glad I live in Seattle
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January 11th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
It’s a joke. I suppose if I said “Why can’t you go hungry in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there,” You folks would go on about how there are starving children in Africa and how I am such a bad person for telling the joke, and google how many hungry die each day…
I thought it was funny. I laughed.
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January 14th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Very very funny =D
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
in ontario, canada here you can be charged just for sitting in a car while drunk with the keys on you. even if they are in your pocket. as long as the keys are in the car with you it shows intent to drive drunk.
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January 17th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
[...] of SUPER CUTE…it made me ‘awwwww’. This, however, made me laugh. Oh, and, uh: [...]
January 18th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Somehow I don’t think this is the best thing to say to a Texas cop - I doubt that he saw the humor in it.
Johnson Team Real Estate
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January 18th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
hehehe..!! that was funny!!!
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February 11th, 2009 at 10:29 am
[...] DUI - TEXAS Lawyer Blog South Texas Lawyer could think of this. What is the Difference between a DWI and a DUI? South Texas Lawyer drunk driving offense a DUI not a DWI. Hiring Experienced DUI South Texas Attorney DUI in Texas fine south texas attorney. Texas Baseball Coach Arrested For DUI! In Texas a DWI South Texas Lawyer. [...]
March 10th, 2009 at 7:01 am
This is a great story.. love it! Cheers!
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April 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Thanks for the post, great funny blog your have here.
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April 25th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
It’s a joke. Jokes allow you to laugh at reality.
But any joke is only funny to some people, and really sensitive to others. Know your audience, and know what to expect.
Another example would be “little blue pill” jokes. Those really hurt some people while others crack up because they never dream it’s anything different from wearing a condom.
I totally loved it, but I’ve seen it. Post away!
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May 30th, 2009 at 4:19 am
Hello,
That was hilarious in the extreme!
jitendra
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July 27th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I think that the officer should examine his priorities. It is extremely negligent to let a drunk driver operate a vehicle for the mere purpose of gaining another arrest. The officer should have confronted the man immediately, uncovered the truth, and then proceeded to police the community for other dangers including other potential drunk drivers leaving the bar. This is yet another instance where a police officer values an arrest more than protecting and serving the citizens. The department should be ashamed.
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August 5th, 2009 at 12:31 am
The real problem with drinking and driving is,that it was a social norm in this country for eighty freakin years. Then the Federal Goverment stepped in and expected everyone to stop what they had been condtioned to do overnight.In the Seventies,I watched my Parent’s and Grandparent’s drive down the road with a drink in thier hand’s many times, All were pilliars of the community.Many people are narrow in scope to a very complicated problem of the U.S goverment’s own making.
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September 14th, 2009 at 2:57 am
That’s totally outrageous - he should go to jail for being the decoy. Drunk drivers aren’t just stopped for the fun of it, they are stopped because drunk driving is statistically the greatest cause of road deaths in most developed countries.
I don’t see why Americans fail to see how serious a crime this is. If the news story had been about somebody pretending to be a drug dealer so that his real drug dealer friends could go about their business selling drugs to kids would everybody be laughing then?
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December 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Keep your opinions of Texans to yourselves, please.
And no, I did not write this in a cowboy hat, or on a steer, or while spitting tobacco. Shove it.
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December 24th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Hey richard where did you get that stat??? Drunk drivers are not the greatest cause of road death in the United States…thats the country we care about since we live in it….It is actually a very small percentage of actually miles driven to death caused by drunk drivers….very very very small USA today reports only a little under 12000 deaths for 2008….there are over 500 thousand car crashes every year…with over 100 million drivers….im not saying it is not wrong because it is a pity I’m just saying that it doesn’t really stop much considering the DOT reported there to be 22,000 deaths in 1982. It isn’t a big deal, the only reason it is, is because MADD made it an issue and scared everyone shitless….most of the time the drunk driver ends up killing themselves and thats it. Really, its like being scared of terrorists when it has killed 3000 people in the past 10 years in the US and smoking has killed 5 to 10 million…doesn’t make sense to get upset over one thing and not the other
Anyway this was made to poke fun at, not be made into a serious issue….learn to take a joke….i dont even know why you’re on a site that states its bloggled humor if you can’t take a joke
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December 27th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
@Richard and everyone else who is too caught up in propaganda and fear mongering to form a logical opinion.
First let me quote Benjamin Franklin - “Those who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither” I do not support drunken driving and I think those proven guilty in a court of law violating the drunk driving laws should face the penalty. On the other hand I myself will refuse to self incriminate by taking a breathalyzer or ANY field sobriety test that are no only geared towards your failure but are not always accurate. I am not willing to sacrifice my rights in order to feel more secure on the roads. It is my right to navigate any public road out there because my tax dollars paid for no matter what the public servants at Texas DPS say about being a privilege. Chicago Motor Coach vs. Chicago, Thompson v. Smith, Kent v. Dulles. In Austin they would have you believe the opposite. Also if you refuse field sobriety test then you automatically have your blood drawn. My point to all this is simple, we have a system in place that protects our rights. If we give up even one of those rights then we are doomed to lose them all. Also I don’t hear the opposition to the decoy clambering about a prohibition for tobacco which kills exponentially more people then drunk driving.
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December 29th, 2009 at 4:13 am
this didnt actually happen it’s an old wives tale from the 1700’s.
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lilbear68 Reply:
January 4th, 2010 at 9:27 am
@havin_cravin, did they have cars in the 1700′S
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January 4th, 2010 at 9:24 am
in ohio a cop tried this with 2 actual friend of mine but it went like this: cop watchin the bar and two guys walk out obviously drunk got in their car and drove out and promply got stopped and hit with dui for the driver and public intox for the passenger. in court the judge questions the cop about the actions and then reamed the cop big time for even allowing the two to start the car and pull out on a public road this endangering the public
course this was before the states, cities and towns struck gold in the dui mine
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January 4th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
This story (or at least the man’s idea) is taken from a book called “The World’s Shortest Stories,” in which all the stories are 55 words or less. It goes as follows:
“I watched some fool stumble out of a bar and into a car. When he swerved down the road, I pulled him over and administered a field test that proved nothing. He requested a blood test, but there was no alcohol in his blood. “What’s your game, pal?”
“I’m the D.D.”
“Designated Driver?”
“Designated Decoy.”
Story by Sage Romano.
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January 10th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
this is a funny story and for everyone to argue over it is a little ridic…by the way…drunk driving kills thousands of people a year and yet it continues to be legal…now, im not dissing drinking because i like to drink my fair share of alcohol and have a good time but how many people die a year from high driving?….im willing to guess way fewer than drunk driving….LEGALize it Obama
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January 12th, 2010 at 2:53 am
LOL @ comments, old people slowly infiltrating and ruining the internets.
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