JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in
white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of
happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
‘So why is the groom wearing black?’
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as
fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As
she ran she prayed, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don’t let me be late!’
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb
and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray, ‘Dear Lord,
please don’t let me be late…But please don’t
shove me either!’
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give
him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song,
they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the
money!’
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, ‘They
wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want
them to take me out when I’m dead.’
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What
would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He
answered, ‘Call for backup.’
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and
Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child
replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.’
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy
mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
‘Thou shall not kill.’
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the
matter?’ Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in
my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after
hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the
other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa
Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.’
Tags: church humor, church jokes
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